Last weekend I attended a baby shower where we discussed the pros and cons of various breastfeeding-related products, and I then had a conversation with my Mom's best friend whose daughter is struggling with nursing her newborn and was looking for advice. I have been meaning to post about my favorite breastfeeding and pumping essentials while it is still (somewhat) fresh in my mind, and this was the perfect reminder.
Breastfeeding is not as easy as it seems...at least not during the first few weeks (or months). It is a different experience for everyone, and it may not work out as planned. Both of my kids have upper lip ties, so I faced difficulties in nursing both of them, but in different ways.
With Ava, the lip tie meant that she had a terrible latch, which resulted in lots of pain on my end as well as cracked nipples, mastitis, and her getting thrush as a result of my antibiotics. So we only breastfeed for two weeks before I started exclusively pumping. At the same time, I had a terrible cold and took Sudafed without realizing that it would dry up my supply. This meant that I could only pump half of what Ava needed a day, so we went with a half-formula/half-breast milk route until I returned to work. I was so disappointed that breastfeeding hadn't worked out as planned, but I was proud of the pumped breast milk she did get. I was also determined to make it work with our second child.
I did more research on breastfeeding before having Rylan (I highly recommend the KellyMom site and the "Timeline of a Breastfed Baby"), and set a goal to breastfeed for six months.
Despite our initial struggles while he was in the NICU, Ry finally figured out a good latch. Other than a little discomfort, I didn't experience any pain this time around. However, Rylan's lip tie caused issues with his ability to efficiently extract milk. As a result, his feedings lasted forever and his slow weight gain was a big concern. We eventually hit our stride, survived the three-day marathon nursing session at the six-week mark, and breastfed exclusively until I went back to work at three months. I am not able to pump a ton of milk, so we had to supplement with at least one bottle of formula at daycare. But Rylan didn't seem to mind and went effortlessly back and forth between the breast and bottle (our first sign that he is not a picky eater). Pumping that much is no freaking joke, and the further we got from exclusive breastfeeding, the less milk I was able to produce and the more my bottomless-pit-of-a-child needed to eat. But…we met my six-month goal and it was such a wonderful experience.
In addition to self-determination (fueled by my inner hippie plus working-mom desire to "do it all") and the support of family and friends, the products below truly helped make my breastfeeding journey successful the second time around.
1. Organic Cotton Nursing Pads. These nursing pads are so soft and absorbent. I also love that they are machine washable.
2. My Breast Friend Deluxe Nursing Pillow. I truly feel like I lived in this thing while on maternity leave. I am definitely team My Breast Friend. It was way more comfortable than the Boppy, the pocket came in very handy, and I loved the stability due to the buckle strap. I could multi-task like a boss while nursing in that thing. But the Boppy came in handy for other things…
3. Motherlove Nipple Cream. Such simple ingredients; such magical healing powers. Bonus: it works fabulously as lip balm once you are done breastfeeding.
4. Cake Lingerie Nursing Bras. These nursing bras are pricey, but they are so unbelievably comfortable and supportive. I may or may not still wear mine sometimes. They also make nursing tanks.
6. Baby Scale. One of the disadvantages of breastfeeding is that you don't know exactly how much your baby is eating on a daily basis. However, as long as they are gaining about an ounce a day, then you are good. Normally, I wouldn't have worried about it, but due to Rylan's slow weight gain initially (and my polite refusal to not follow the doctor's suggestion to start supplementing with formula), I knew it would put me at ease to keep track of his weight at home. A sweet friend let us borrow her scale, and it made me feel so much better to see those little ounces adding up.
7. Milkies Milk-Saver. I ordered this on a whim a couple months into breastfeeding, and my only regret is that I didn't get it sooner! You place it on the non-nursing boob, and the little contraption catches the milk that escapes during let-down/throughout the feeding. It didn't capture a ton, but I would much rather save that 1/4 an ounce each feeding than have it soak up a nursing pad. Evidently you also catch a lot more during the early weeks when your boobs haven't quite got their act together yet.
9. Serial Podcast. Listening to this addicting true crime podcast got me through many a late-night feedings. I especially liked that it kept me awake while I could still rest my eyes. (Note that I did have some crazy dreams after going back to sleep).
10. Fenugreek Capsules. While it made my pee smell like maple syrup (there are worse things), the fenugreek really helped with my milk production when I needed a little boost.
11. Medela Breast Milk Storage Set. I was lucky enough to get lots of hand-me-down bottles and storage containers from my sister-in-law, so I only had to purchase the freezer storage bags. However, this set would be a good purchase if you are starting from scratch. (Note that I just used these bottles for pumping/storage as I prefer Dr. Brown's bottles.)
12. Medela Easy Expression Bustier. The picture on the cover of this packaging kills me, but a bra like this is essential for pumping. I have friends who have just cut holes in old sports bras, but I needed something that was easier to get on and off at work. Since these are strapless and zip up in the front, they fit the bill perfectly.
14. PackIt Freezable Carryall Bag. I used a boring soft-sided cooler with ice packs, but this bag would have been perfect. The entire bag freezes and stays cold for 10 hours, which is key for the trips between fridges at work and home as well as when you are pumping on the go.
15. Medela Freestyle Breast Pump. With Ava, I used the Medela Pump In Style Advanced (another hand-me-down…thanks Tori!). It worked great, but I was worried that the motor was slowing a bit since it had been used for many years by the time Rylan was born. Thanks to Obamacare, I was able to get a new pump for free! The free option is a very basic version, but it did the trick. (And I was able to have a pump both at home and at work, which was amazing!) However, if I had my pick, it would totally be this Medela Freestyle pump due to the compact size and portability.
Other Things To Have On Hand:
Nursing tanks. I wasn't a big fan of nursing cover-ups and found it easier to wear nursing tanks under shirts that were easy to pull up or down. This gave me enough coverage to feel comfortable without the hassle of dealing with a cover. I stuck to the cheap ones (mainly from Target).
A comfortable neck pillow. After dealing with lots of neck/upper back pain early on, I found that using a neck pillow during the longer nursing sessions really helped. My ideal night-time nursing set-up was: in the recliner, feet up, the My Breast Friend pillow for Rylan, neck pillow for me, and the aforementioned podcast in my headphones. I had it down to a science.
Something to elevate your feet. While one of those fancy stools would have been nice, our old law school textbooks came in very handy. This really helps with your posture/positioning during the early weeks. Once you get in a groove, you can nurse anywhere in pretty much any position.
A bag big enough to fit cooler bag, pump, bottles/storage bags, and pumping bra. I felt like a Sherpa taking all this stuff to work every day. It did get easier once I got my Obamacare pump and was able to leave a pump in my office.
Gallon-sized Ziploc bags. One of the best pumping tips I found was to store your pump parts in the fridge with the milk during the day at work. Because the milk residue stays cold, you don't have to clean the parts in between pumping sessions...which saves you a lot of time when you have to pump 3-4 times every day at work! I kept them in a ziploc bag to keep the inside of my cooler bag clean.
And with that, I will conclude this novel of a post. Happy nursing, mamas.
With Ava in preschool and Rylan in daycare, I have frantically been trying to figure out the best way to keep all their "school supplies" organized. (How is it possible that such tiny humans require so much stuff?!) And with two kids in school now, having everything labeled is one of the keys to my sanity staying intact.
That is where Kidecals comes in to play. They offer a variety of waterproof labels that are perfect for labeling the multitude of things that your kids have to bring to school/daycare every day.
Just as their tagline describes, the labels are both versatile and durable. They come in a wide range of sizes and styles, and the labels are also dishwasher and washing machine safe. Another bonus…shipping is always free!
The labels are also super easy to customize with various designs, colors, and options.
I ordered "Mega Sets" of the Purple and Orange Chevron and Navy Chevron styles. For $28, a set comes with 24 two-inch labels and 48 one-inch labels.
I was so excited when our package of labels arrived. They looked fantastic!
Once I was done admiring the pretty labels, it was time to get organized.
They are wonderful for sippy cups, bottles, and water bottles. And because the labels hold up so well in the dishwasher, I also plan on using them for Rylan's baby food containers in a few months.
Ry's swaddle blankets and WubbaNub are also ready to go.
And because Ava now has to pack tennis shoes every day for PE class, I slapped some labels on those bad boys as well. They are perfect for the shoes and haven't budged!
In addition to the personalized name labels, Kidecals also offers allergy alert labels!
Not only are Kidecals' labels super useful for school and daycare, they would also come in very handy for camps and extracurricular activities. In fact, I know one little ballerina who could use some on her shoes :).
**I received these labels for free in exchange for my honest review. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I truly think my readers would enjoy/find helpful, and the opinions in this post are completely my own.**
I knew that being a full-time working mom would be tough...balancing a full work day with caring for my child, running errands, taking care of the house, and still being able to spend some quality time with my husband. However, I didn't realize that one of the hardest parts would be the pangs of guilt that often fill the pit of my stomach.
I feel guilty about the fact that I only get to see Ava for about two hours a day during the week. Guilty because I often feel like strangers are raising her. Guilty if I do anything on the weekends that limits my time with her. And especially guilty that she is not receiving the attention she deserves.
I know being a stay-at-home mom is not all puppy dogs and rainbows and that "the grass is always greener on the other side," but I can't help but feel jealous every time I read/hear about my SAHM-friends' daily adventures, playgroups, and snuggle time with their kids. And some days are harder than others. I have even gotten teary-eyed while running an errand at lunch because I happened to see a mom out enjoying the day with her child.
Can you "have it all"? Techincally, yes. However, for me at least, having it all is served with a huge helping of guilt on the side.
I pray that it gets easier to handle with time, but the bottom line is that I do love my job (and to all my co-workers who read this blog...don't worry, I'm not going to quit!), I am providing Ava with a role model for her future career, and I am doing my part to support our family financially. Additionally, I truly cherish every moment I get to spend with her...even during the most fussy moments. On top of all of that, Ava loves her teachers and classmates, and she continues to shock me with how fast she reaches milestones. She is also learning important social skills at an early age, and her immune system will reap the benefits of her time in daycare as well.
In searching for age-appropriate toys/activities for Ava, I recently stumbled upon the "Playtime Guide" on the Fisher-Price website. You can search by your child's age, and the site provides a list of suggested toys listed by type of play (of course, they are all Fisher-Price toys, but you could always find similar toys elsewhere). And perhaps even more helpful is the fact that the guide also provides play tips to "help your baby learn more" as they use the toys.
In addition to advice regarding age-appropriate toys, the site also provides a plethora of "play & learn activities," which are also searchable by age. For each activity, they list the materials needed, detailed instructions, and safety precautions.
This is a very helpful (and free) resource that I definitely plan on checking on a regular basis!
I recently discovered the coolest thing...Chewbeads.
As the website says, it is "nontoxic jewelry for moms, safe for baby to tug, touch, and chew." The beads are made out of silicone just like pacifiers and bottle nipples, and they sell both necklaces and bracelets in a variety of colors and styles. They are BPA-free, dishwasher-safe, and have a breakaway clasp.
It is definitely one of those things that makes you think "why on earth didn't I think of this first?"!
I got one in pink...and I need a couple more colors...are you listening, Santa? I love that I can even wear it to work. (I know it seems weird that I am wearing a sweater in the middle of August...but it is freaking freezing in my office.)
It is also Ava-approved :).
Definitely keep these in mind for upcoming baby shower gifts.
With Ava's six-month birthday quickly approaching, we are about to embark on the solid food journey. I can tell that she is totally ready for this transition, but I have been waiting as long as possible because bottles are just so darn easy! While I am sad that this means Ava is growing up, it will also be a fun (and messy) new step.
As someone who loves to cook, I decided to attempt making Ava's baby food. And after Josh asked if I was going to have time to make her food since I am not a stay-at-home-mom, it made me even more determined to do so (even though breastfeeding may not have gone exactly as planned, I can sure as shit make my daughter some yummy, organic food!).
I like knowing exactly what is in her food, and as an added bonus, it is cheaper than buying it all. Once it is no longer 100 degrees outside, I am going to get even more granola by purchasing locally-sourced fruits and veggies at the Dallas Farmer's Market.
Before taking on this task, I polled my friends on Facebook regarding what tools they use for making baby food, and got lots of great advice. Ultimately, I decided to go with using a steamer basket and food processor in lieu of purchasing an expensive all-in-one baby food maker. This is primarily because I wanted the ability to make bigger batches...and I have also been wanting to buy the Calphalon steamer basket/pasta insert that goes with our pots anyway.
The thought of switching Ava to solid food is a bit daunting...not only because I have no idea what/how much to feed a baby, but also because of all the foods you are supposed to avoid until they are at least a year old. So I have been scouring the Internet, and found a few good resources, including Wholesome Baby Food and Weelicious.
I also really love this post on the styleberry blog. I bought both cookbooks that she recommends, and I especially love her suggestion of freezing baby food in these Tovolo ice cube trays before transferring them to Ziploc bags for long-term storage.
Since I will have to pack Ava's food for daycare every day, I also bought a couple different storage containers to send the frozen cubes in.
For my first go at making baby food last weekend, I made carrots, apples, pears, and sweet potatoes. Luckily, all the recipes for basic fruit and vegetable purees are pretty simple.
Basically, you wash...
peel if necessary (it is better to steam fruits like apples and pears in their skins to retain more nutrients)...
chop (and core if necessary) and steam (or bake)...
and puree (or mash once the baby is older).
When the baby is young and needs a very smooth puree, you can also push the pureed food through a mesh strainer with a spatula to make sure all pieces of peel, etc. are removed.
Then, you fill the trays with the puree (the blog I mentioned above has a great video tutorial) and freeze overnight.
The next day, you just pop them out and store in a Ziploc. (Please ignore the fact that the rest of these pictures are of sweet potatoes instead of carrots.)
I discovered that a pie pan makes for a perfect baby food cube receptacle as it keeps them from going all over the counter when you pop them out.
The one thing that I wish I had known before making these batches was how much of each fruit/veggie I needed to buy/cook in order to fill one Tovolo tray. Below is what I discovered for the carrots, apples, pears, and sweet potatoes. As I make more, I will add to this list for future reference.
Approximately Fills One Tovolo Tray (15 One-Ounce Cubes):
8 apples
20oz bag (frozen) butternut squash
14 carrots
1.5 cauliflower heads
3 chicken breasts, chopped in small pieces, with broth (I cooked the chicken breasts in the crockpot with one cup of water, one chopped carrot, and one chopped celery stalk on low for 8 hours, and then mixed the broth in with the chicken pieces.)
16oz bag (frozen) green beans
5 mangos
8 peaches
32oz bag (frozen) peas
7 pears
3 sweet potatoes
5 yellow squash
I had so much fun making it all...and seeing the plethora of homemade baby food in our freezer makes me so proud!
I also totally felt like Diane Keaton making all that applesauce in "Baby Boom" (please tell me I am not the only one who remembers this gem of an 80's movie).
Let's hope Ava enjoys eating it all as much as I enjoyed making it.
I first discovered Dr. Brown's bottles when Ava was having some serious issues with gas after she switched from breastfeeding to bottles. The poor thing was in so much pain that she would arch her back and scream...and I think it was almost as painful for us to watch. We tried gas drops, which helped a little but didn't completely solve the problem.
Looking for a better solution, I bought a couple Dr. Brown's bottles, and they were fantastic! They are BPA free and the key is that they have two extra pieces which make up the "vent system."
According to the company's website, "the Dr. Brown's baby bottle features a patented internal vent system not found in any other bottle. Our bottle is fully-vented for vacuum-free feeding. We call this positive-pressure flow, similar to breastfeeding, which allows babies to feed at their own pace. As the baby feeds, air is channeled from the nipple collar (not the silicone nipple) through the vent system, to the back of the bottle. Air bypasses the breastmilk or formula which means no oxidation of nutrients."
I know that sounds complicated, but all you need to worry about is the fact that it works! After switching to these bottles, Ava's gas pains went away completely. I was a believer.
We started with the wide-neck bottles because they were similar to the Medela nipples she was used to (note that these are also good to use if you are still breastfeeding because they help prevent the dreaded "nipple confusion").
And eventually switched her to the standard bottles, which she preferred.
The only drawback is the fact that there are two extra pieces to wash. But to me, it is completely worth it...both for Ava's comfort and my sanity :). On a side note, I am glad these bottles worked out, because I was not brave enough to try "The Windi" (despite how much I love the NoseFrida). If you have not heard of this lovely gadget before, please read the product description. Although it seems like something that would be featured on an SNL commercial, it is not a joke....although it is pretty darn hilarious.
Before having a child, I never thought I would devote an entire blog post to baby snot. But I also never thought I would happily use my shirt as a giant kleenex for said snot. So, there you go.
With Ava in daycare, we have had more than our fair share of colds in the Shepherd household over the past few months. And while Josh and I (now that I am not breastfeeding/pumping) can take a plethora of cold remedies, Ava doesn't have that luxury.
We have used the traditional method of saline drops followed by the bulb syringe, which definitely does the trick (once you realize that you have to be a bit more aggressive with the bulb syringe than you first thought). However, both are pretty intrusive, and Ava hates them!
I have found two products recently that are a little less intrusive, and thus a little more tolerated by our little Boogs McGee. First, are these fabulous Boogie Wipes...
They contain saline to help with stuffiness (and those lovely crusted-on boogers) as well as chamomile, vitamin E, and aloe to moisturize delicate (and adorable) little noses. They come in a few scented varieties, but I stick with the unscented ones. Ava still doesn't love them, but she likes them a lot better than the saline drops. As a result, I heart them!
The second product is the NoseFrieda "Snot Sucker"....yes, I said snot sucker. But it is totally not as gross as it seems. I promise.
This is how the website describes the product: "It's smart; it's Swedish; it's maybe a little strange; it's doctor invented and recommended; it's 100% hygienic due to the included filters; it's fabulously reviewed; and it's a nasal aspirator that ACTUALLY WORKS!" I think that basically sums it up. I like it because it is not as intrusive as the bulb syringe (because it barely goes in their nose) and it really does work.
The combination of these two products has made for a much happier baby as well as less "bats in the cave" :).
***Instead of including another full list of "Things I Wish I'd Known/Tips for New Moms" for the next stage of infancy, I will periodically post random information, advice, and product recommendations and label them so they all fall under the "Mom Tips" category for easy searching. The following information is definitely something to be aware of when you have a baby.***
In addition to strech marks, a softer belly, and boobs that are a little more National Geographic and a little less Victoria's Secret, hair loss is a lovely postpartum side effect for many women....including yours truly. My hair is currently falling out constantly, and it is EVERYWHERE! It makes me think of the Dashboard Confessional song (minus the infidelity part).
This situation doesn't help the fact that infants develop "hair tourniquets" very easily. Many people have never heard of hair tourniquets (including my Mom), but a friend of Lauren's who is a primary care nurse said that they see babies with them all the time at the hospital. I heard about them a while back, so I knew to be on the lookout on Ava's fingers and toes (baby boys can even develop them on their penis...eeeeek!).
A couple weeks ago, Josh noticed a red line around one of Ava's toes that appeared to be a hair tourniquet. But upon close inspection, we couldn't see a hair. However, I started researching them online later in the day and discovered that sometimes you can't see the hair without a magnifying glass. Josh bought a magnifying glass at CVS, but we still couldn't see anything. I called Lauren, who happened to be with her primary care nurse friend, and they confirmed that the doctors often use special glasses to see the hair.
At that point, I was really worried because it was a Friday night and we couldn't get into the pediatrician until the next morning. The pictures I saw online did not help the situation, especially since they often have to cut the side of the poor baby's toe to remove the hair. However, the end of Ava's toe was not red or purple, so if it was a hair tourniquet, it was not yet cutting off circulation. So, we put her to bed, and I set an alarm to check her toe every couple hours throughout the night. Luckily, it never got any worse.
We took her to the pediatrician the next morning, and the doctor said it was definitely suspicious. But after he inspected her toe very closely with his super-magnifying glasses, he couldn't see a hair. He said that she has deep toe creases, and it was likely just red for the same reason babies' neck creases get red. The doctor also mentioned that if it had been a hair tourniquet, she would have fussed when he handled the toe. Thank goodness!! All that worrying over some chubby toes :).
Below is a picture of Ava's foot that I took that Sunday. The line around her middle toe was not quite as red by then, but you can still see it.
Now that Ava is approaching her three-month birthday (eek!), I thought it would be a good idea to write down all the important things I learned over the past few months. By no means do I profess to be an expert on parenting (who is?), but it is amazing how much you learn in such a short amount of time. It is such a trial-and-error process, and it is important to remember that all babies are different.
I hope this advice not only helps all those other new moms out there, but I also plan on reviewing this list before Baby Shep #2 is born (which hopefully won't be for a while despite Regina's vision).
Here are my thoughts, take 'em or leave 'em, in no particular order...
1. It is perfectly normal to think to yourself, especially during the extremely sleep-deprived first few weeks, that "this whole 'let's have a kid thing' may not have been a good idea."
2. Breastfeeding is really, really hard, and it may not work out as planned. My plan was to breastfeed Ava during my 12-week long maternity leave, and pump enough to give her half breast milk and half formula for another month or so after going back to work (I didn't want to pump at work). However, breastfeeding is way harder than I ever imagined!
First of all, it can take the baby and you a while to figure out how get a proper latch, and even if everything is correct, it is still painful at first. You also have no idea how much milk they are getting, which can lead to you thinking that they aren't getting enough (see #27). Additionally, unless you are pumping, others can't feed the baby. Thus, it is hard to be away from the baby or sleep for any long stretches of time.
I had it particularly tough...as a result of cracked and bleeding nipples that just wouldn't heal, I developed mastitis in my left breast after about two weeks. It was really painful, came with a fever, and I've never had worse chills in my entire life. So, I continued to breastfeed on my right breast and pumped on my left for another week. However, due to the antibiotics that I took for the mastitis, Ava developed a yeast infection diaper rash as well as thrush on her tongue. When babies have thrush, it can be passed back and forth between their mouth and the mother's nipples. So, at that point, I started exclusively pumping (side note - pumping is annoying for several reasons, but especially because after you feed the baby, you have to pump...which means that after you feed them in the middle of the night, you can't go right back to bed...ugh!). Also during this time, I had a bad cold and took Sudafed since it had been an approved medicine when I was pregnant. Little did I know that this can reduce your milk supply. I don't know if it was the Sudafed, or simply the fact that the pump wasn't as effective as Ava had been at getting out milk (this is often the case), but I was only able to pump about half of what she needed a day. As a result, the doctor recommended supplementing with formula. So, up until a few weeks ago when I started weaning before going back to work, Ava got half formula and half expressed breast milk. She didn't seem to mind at all, and gulped down whatever I gave her :).
It is not at all how I thought the breastfeeding process would go, but it was the best I could do given the circumstances. I feel good that Ava got as much breast milk as she did, and the formula definitely hasn't stunted her growth....have you seen her stats :). I am also very grateful for the time I did get to breastfeed her. Even with the pain, it was a wonderful experience. I sincerely hope that it works out differently with Baby Shep #2.
Overall, I highly recommend reading up on breastfeeding before your baby is born. I didn't, and regretted not having more information from the beginning. There are lots of great resources online, including KellyMom, La Leche League, and this "Timeline of a Breastfed Baby."
3. Drive-through Starbucks are awesome! Not only do most babies love being in the car, but a grande skinny vanilla latte can be all a mommy needs to get through a tough morning. Even if you are avoiding coffee during breastfeeding, their breakfast sandwiches, pastries, and oatmeal (which is good for milk production) are also delicious.
4. Have your baby sleep in their room, in their crib, as soon as possible. If you are in to co-sleeping, more power to you, but personally, it terrifies me. Even though Ava never slept or nursed in our bed, I would still often wake up in a panic thinking that she was asleep next to me...being smothered by our blankets. If you don't plan on co-sleeping, I recommend putting the baby to sleep in their room as soon as possible.
Ava slept in a bassinet, in her Nap Nanny (see entry below), for approximately the first two weeks. I then slowly transitioned her to the crib by starting her off in the crib for the first stretch at night and then putting her back in the bassinet for the rest of the night, then in the crib for the first two stretches, etc. I found that not only did Josh and I sleep much better when Ava slept in her room (most babies make lots of noises during the night, which woke me up when she was in our room), but she slept better as well. In fact, she was sleeping a six-hour stretch (and then eating and going back to sleep for a couple hours) by six weeks and completely through the night (10-12 hours) by about 10 weeks.
I think it is important to make the transition early on, because I have heard from many moms who didn't that their babies had a much harder time sleeping through the night/learning to sleep in their room. One caveat to this advice is that Ava's nursery is super close to our room, so it was easy to get up and nurse her in the middle of the night. We probably would have kept her in our room for a lot longer if her nursery was on a different floor or across the house.
5. Two words. Nap Nanny. Ava loves hers!! As I mentioned above, we even used it in her bassinet for the first couple weeks. But note that, after reading the Nap Nanny instructions, we could only do this (after asking our doctor to make sure) because it fit perfectly in her bassinet and didn't have any spaces on the side where she could fall out of the Nap Nanny and get trapped in the space. **Update - There was a recallissued in late 2012. While I think they are probably still fine if used according to the instructions, this is totally up to you.**
6. Start putting them down for an afternoon nap in their crib as soon as possible. I started this with Ava when she was around six weeks old. The first couple days, she only slept for about 30 minutes, but she was soon sleeping for longer stretches. She sometimes shocks me and sleeps for up to three hours during her nap...which is glorious! I think it is important to start this habit early, because I have talked to several moms who have had a hard time getting their babies to take naps in their cribs once they were older.
7. Daytime television sucks. Make sure you have some good stuff saved on your DVR or in your Netflix queue. I was also able to find some diamonds in the rough, including CSI marathons, House Hunters, and some good old movies. Additionally, the terrible daytime television commercials will make you feel very good about yourself...they are basically a rotation of technical college and class action lawsuit commercials.
8. Not all newborns sleep a lot during the first few weeks. Ava certainly didn't, which made the whole "sleep when they sleep" thing kind of difficult.
9. Don't buy too many newborn-sized or "fancy" baby clothes for the first few months. I knew Ava was going to be a big baby, so we didn't buy too many newborn-sized outfits. Nevertheless, we still had too many. Also, since you don't take the baby out very much during the first couple months, I found that we didn't get to put her in many of her fancier outfits. With a few exceptions for holidays and some outings, Ava mainly sported her PJs and onesie/pant combos. Save your money for down the road. But it is really hard to resist buying cute little dresses like this one :).
10. Hire a professional photographer for a newborn photo shoot. You will be very glad you did. On this note, I recommend buying any clothes/props you want to use during the shoot well in advance (i.e. while you are still pregnant). They usually like to do the photo shoots within the first couple weeks, and you will not have time to go shopping (nor will you want to get out of the house yet).
11. Accept any offers for food (and other help for that matter). It is so nice to have dinner ready to go in the fridge/freezer, and no one cares if your house is a mess and you have no make-up on when they come by to drop off the food. It is also really helpful to figure out all the restaurants around you that will deliver!
12. You may not lose the post-baby weight at a consistent pace. I gained 50 pounds while pregnant with Ava, and I was really worried about how it would come off. To my astonishment, I lost 27 pounds in the first week after she was born! I lost another 13 or so within the next few weeks, so I thought it would only be a matter of time before all 50 was gone (plus some because I would like to lose even more). However, that last 10 pounds have been much harder to get rid of...and I'm still working on it :/.
13. Most likely, your husband will not automatically be very helpful (sorry, babe, but you know it's true). Note that I did not say he wouldn't be helpful, just that he wouldn't be automatically helpful. For most women, your "mommy instinct" kicks in immediately, but I think it just takes longer for guys. So, your husband may take the adjustment a bit harder and not realize exactly what they can do to help out. For example, they don't think "while my wife is feeding the baby, I can wash some bottles/heat up our dinner/pull the baby's laundry out of the dryer/etc. so she won't have to do it, and thus we can both go to bed sooner." Not gonna happen. However, at least with my hubby, he helps out as soon as I ask. And if you write about it on your blog, your husband might take a hint ;). So, for all you dads-to-be out there, learn this phrase and use it often once the baby has arrived: "How can I help?"...your wife will be very appreciative!
14. You will Google more than you ever have in your life. I Googled everything from "what does a herniated belly button look like" (it turns out Ava has one), to "when do babies start sleeping through the night," to "projectile spit-up," and every breastfeeding question imaginable. However, don't believe everything you read, don't freak out, and remember that all babies are different.
15. You will become "that Mom" who takes a million pictures and shows them to strangers. Josh almost died when I whipped out a picture of Ava on my phone to show the bartender at Victor Tangos. But it did get me this French 75 on the house :).
16. Ask your parents/someone else you trust to babysit early and often. It is amazing how much a date night with your husband every few weeks can make you feel human again. Having your husband watch the baby so you can have a girls' night is just as fabulous!
17. If you have a two-story house and the nursery is upstairs, get a changing table downstairs as well. We were blessed to get lots of hand-me-down baby items from Josh's sister, including an extra changing table. I didn't even think about it until after Ava was born, but trekking her upstairs every time she needed her diaper changed would have been ridiculous.
18. The organic washable nursing pads are the best. One of my friends (Thanks, Jennie!) gave me these nursing pads at my shower, and she said they were her favorite. She was totally right! I tried several different kinds, and these were by far the best. They are machine washable, made of organic cotton, and are definitely the most comfortable.
19. The "five s" method of soothing babies totally works! I read The Happiest Baby on the Block before Ava was born, and Dr. Karp's methods really came in handy when you have a crying baby. The five s's are swaddling, sucking (pacifier), placing the baby on its side or stomach, making a shushing sound, and swaying/swinging. Sometimes you only need to use one and sometimes you need all five :).
Josh is a master swaddler, and he said that he made sure to pay careful attention when the nurses swaddled Ava in the hospital (see #42). I am so glad he did, because Ava loooooves to be swaddled! On this note, there are several ways to swaddle a baby. For ideas and instructions, just search YouTube for how-to videos. Our favorite swaddle blankets are definitely the Aden + Anais ones (and we didn't need warmer blankets because it was an unseasonably warm winter this year in Texas), and you can also use products like the Woombie once your baby starts to break free from swaddle blankets.
20. If you use formula, use room temperature water instead of warming the bottles. This way, you can make a bottle if you are away from the house, and the baby won't balk at the fact that it is not warmed. You can always start using warm water and slowly make it cooler over time. This has come in very handy! 21. Babies' necks are almost impossible to keep clean and dry. Even after bathing your precious little one, you will sometimes notice a day later that their neck smells. Because of the folds in their neck and the fact that milk often drips into the area, it is really hard to keep the area dry. Also, their natural reaction when you try to clean their necks is to put their head down. I've heard the Tommee Tippee bibs help, and I still need to get some. I have also found the Johnson & Johnson wipes to be great for cleaning their necks between baths.
22. Having friends with babies is so wonderful. I can't tell you how many texts, e-mails, and phone calls were shared with my mommy friends over the last few months. Their advice and support was invaluable! It is nice knowing that others are going through/have been through exactly the same thing. If you don't have any friends with babies, I recommend joining some sort of local mom group. My sister-in-law joined a group for mothers of multiples when she had her girls, and she is still really good friends with several of the moms.
23. Buy some granny panties. Several friends told me to have some granny panties ready to go for the first few weeks post-delivery. TMI Warning - this is mainly because you basically have a huge period for anywhere from two to six weeks after giving birth, and because you can't use tampons, you are forced to use pads like a middle school girl. This is not the best thing for all those Hanky Pankys, so make sure to buy some underwear that you can throw away if necessary. Also, I recommend getting some that are super high. While this may not be the most attractive option, it is necessary if you have a C-section because you want to make sure your underwear line is above the C-section incision. Trust me.
24. WARNING - Mom and Dad, Gary and Betsy, if you are reading this, please skip to the next number. I'm about to talk about sex. I didn't realize that once you are cleared to have sex again by your doctor, it would hurt even if you didn't have a vaginal delivery. However, I had read somewhere that the best solution to this problem is a bottle of wine and some good lube. Couldn't. Be. More. True. Also on this note, it is possible to start your period only six weeks post delivery. It is even possible to start your period on the exact same day the doctor gives you permission to resume all activities..."it's like rayiaaaan on your wedding day...."
25. Take your showers at night once your husband is home. They are a lot more relaxing when you aren't worried about the baby waking up and screaming in the middle of your shower, and it is a lot easier to get ready in the morning (if necessary) if you just need to put on makeup and get dressed.
26. If your baby will take a pacifier, buy lots of them and stash them everywhere. You don't want to get caught without one in your diaper bag, stroller, etc. when the baby suddenly starts wailing. It is also nice to have extras on hand when your dog likes to steal them :).
27. Babies have growth spurts, and they may want to nurse as often as every hour in the middle of the night. This does not mean that you are not producing enough milk!
28. If you have dogs, find a good mobile groomer. I use Pet Love. This way, you don't have to haul your dogs and an infant to the groomer!
29. You will need a lot of comfortable and flowy clothes for after the baby arrives. For the first few weeks, I pretty much wore pajamas all day. You especially want to have some loose-fitting pajama pants/sweats if you have a C-section, because you don't want the waistline to fit too snuggly on your incision. Also, if you are breastfeeding, I suggest buying nursing camisoles and wearing zip-up sweatshirts over them...especially when it is cold in your house. This way you don't have to pull up your shirt. Simply unzip your sweatshirt and unsnap the cami. My sister-in-law gave me this great advice, and it really came in handy. As far as clothes to wear out of the house, make sure you have several shirts/dresses that are flowy around the stomach area. It also doesn't hurt to buy some good shapewear :).
30. Sign up for Amazon Mom. Not only do you get a discount on diapers and other baby necessities, but you get free two-day shipping on most items. There was a waiting list when I signed up, but it just took a few weeks.
31. The ideal temperature for a baby's room is between 61 and 67 degrees. Even though this seems pretty cold, cooler temperatures while sleeping has been found to reduce SIDS. If you have a home in which it is hard to control the temperature, I really recommend getting aGroEgg for the nursery. This nifty device tells you the room temperature and even changes color to let you know if it is too cold, too hot, or just right. I even recently saw on her show that Bethenny Frankel's daughter had one in her nursery, which made me feel cool :).
32. Being at home with a newborn all day can be really lonely. I imagine that it is a bit different when the baby is older and you can get out of the house more, but it can get lonely when you are home all day with a newborn...especially when your husband works long hours. To help with this, I had friends come over for lunch (they didn't care that I was in my PJs with no makeup on) and planned walks/other easy outings with stay-at-home mom friends and their babies. This helped a lot, and I definitely recommend making similar plans.
33. There's an app for that. There are tons of iPhone apps out there to help with pregnancy/babies. Three that I found especially helpful were the "Full Term" app for tracking my contractions during labor, a white noise app (see #38), and the "Baby Connect" app. You can use the Baby Connect app to track how much you nurse (there is a timer to track how long they nurse on each boob), how many ounces they drink from bottles, how much you pump, the number/type of diaper changes (which I only used for the first few weeks so we knew she was getting enough milk), medicine dosage (which I used for my own medicine when I had mastitis), how much they are sleeping, and much more. Perhaps the best part is that if your husband downloads the app as well, you can sync them so that you each have access to the information that the other enters on their phone.
34. If you know someone who isn't using theirs, borrow a breast pump. Pumps are really expensive, and if you can borrow one from a friend, sister-in-law, etc. (thanks, Tori!), all you have to do is buy new tubing, breastshields, membranes, and the containers in which you are going to pump the milk. I also definitely recommend getting a hands free pumping bra (or cutting holes in a cheap sports bra). I clearly used mine while working out like this (kidding!).
35. Sometimes babies are just fussy. I knew this from babysitting as well as from growing up with so many siblings, but this came as a surprise to Josh. Sometimes, even if your baby is fed, changed, burped, and healthy, they will still cry. Often, it is because they are gassy or sleepy (they like to fight going to sleep), but they can also just be fussy because they are fussy....and it will hopefully pass fairly quickly. 36. The "grass" drying racks are not only cute, but they are also really functional. My mom bought one of these drying racks because she thought it was fun, but it has actually come in really handy! It is a great way to dry all those bottles, pacifiers, pump parts, etc., and it is a fun addition to your countertop.
37. It is easiest to just bite their nails. I got this great advice from my sister-in-law, and I am passing it along to you. Babies' fingers are so tiny that nail clippers (even the ones especially made for babies) are really hard to use. Both my Mom and Josh tried to clip Ava's nails, and they both ended up cutting one of her fingers (Ava didn't cry but my Mom did). Baby finger nails are also really thin and flimsy, so they are hard to file. The easiest way to trim their finger nails is to bite them off! Since they are so thin, they come off really easily.
38. White noise is one of the keys to good sleep. A friend suggested downloading a white noise app for the hospital, because there is so much going on outside your room that it is hard to get any sleep even when the baby is sleeping. I loved having this both in the hospital as well as when Ava and I would nap in the family room during the first few weeks. Another very important thing to get is a white noise machine for the nursery. Babies are used to a white noise-type sound in your womb, so it makes sense that they would sleep better with one once they are born. We ended up using an air purifier that also makes a great white noise sound, but there are many white noise machines to choose from.
39. A C-Section is major surgery. They tell you this in the hospital, but it doesn't really sink in until you get home. You will be extremely sore and will need a lot of help. I highly recommend having your husband, mom, mother-in-law, sister, friend, or combination thereof stay at home with you for at least a week (two weeks would be great!), because it is really hard to get around and you aren't allowed to drive for two weeks. Josh had to go back to work after a couple days, so my Mom stayed with me for the first week (on this note, it will be really hard when your mom leaves....we both cried).
40. Buy some Milkscreen alcohol testers. My friend Sarah got these at her baby shower, and I thought they were genius! If you time it right, you can have one glass of wine while you are nursing. But it is nice to have these on hand to make sure the milk is okay when you have had a glass and a half ;).
41. Just like those phantom phone vibrations, you will experience phantom crying. I can't tell you how many times in the middle of the night, especially after I had just put Ava back down to sleep, that I would have sworn that I heard her cry....but it turned out to be nothing. It drove me crazy!
42. Have your husband pay attention to what everyone tells you in the hospital. Between the exhaustion from labor/surgery (I was in labor for about 15 hours, pushed for one hour, and then finally had a C-section), the painkillers, and the natural drug that is breastfeeding (especially at the beginning, breastfeeding makes you feel like someone slipped you something), it is really hard to pay attention to what the doctors, nurses, and lactation consultants are telling you. After coming to this realization after about a day in the hospital, I gave Josh express instructions to pay as close attention as possible to what they said. I'm sure we still missed a bit here and there, but he did a great job of taking mental notes of all the important things. 43. Get a Padalily, or similar product, for your infant car seat. Car seats are really heavy (especially when your baby is heavy as well), so these arm handle cushions come in very handy. Tessa gave me one at my shower, and I love it! Not only does it make carrying it a bit easier, but my pink padalily cushion also gives some girly flair to the gender neutral carseat we bought in case (or as Josh says "when") we have a boy.
44. Take note of your "birth story" times. Josh kept track of these on his phone, and I'm so glad he did! Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have remembered all these details later. 45. Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags. We have a large sterilizer as well, but these bags are great for quickly cleaning bottles, pump parts, pacifiers, etc. in the microwave.
46. If you have an iPhone, get a case that has a plain back. I have a Kate Spade iPhone case that is pink around the edges and has a black back with white polka dots. While it is super cute, the black and white back totally distracts Ava when I am trying to take a picture/video of her on my phone. She will go from smiling and laughing to a total trance when I hold it up. Since it has a couple cracks anyway, it is time for me to get a new one...and I will make sure to get one with a plain back cover. 47. With most car seats, you are supposed to put the car seat arm back in its locked position when driving. This is for two reasons: 1) for most car seats, the handle needs to be in this position to fully create a cocoon around the baby in case of a crash, and 2) if it is up, the handle can break off in a crash injuring the baby or another passenger. A Partner at my law firm told me this, otherwise I would have had no idea. She also noted that you see people driving around all the time with the car seat arm up in the wrong position.
Correct position:
48. Unless you can tell the diaper is really dirty, you don't need to change the baby's diaper every time they wake up in the middle of the night. It is best to keep the room dark and quiet in order to not stimulate the baby at night. This way, they will go back to bed easier once they eat. It also helps to not change their diaper. Also, once they are sleeping through the night, you can't change it anyway! 49. If you are going back to work, I highly recommend starting daycare for at least a couple days the week or two before you return. I had a few people give me this advice, and I'm so glad I followed it. It is good for three reasons: 1) you figure out exactly how long it takes to get everyone ready, packed up, and out the door in the morning; 2) you can get some stuff done before you go back to work, such as go to the dentist, get your hair cut, get your car inspected, etc.; and perhaps most importantly, 3) it will prepare you emotionally for leaving your precious little baby every day. I took Ava two days a week for the two weeks leading up to my return to work, and even though it is still a very hard transition, I think it really helped. 50. Your baby loves you no matter what, and they think you are "doing OK, Mom." This commercial says it better than I can, but I will warn you that it may make you cry....especially if you are a new mom.
My name is Catherine, but most of my friends call me Cat. I was born and raised in Austin, went to TCU, and ended up in Dallas for law school (where Josh and I met). I decided that being an attorney was not my cup of tea and pursued a career in legal marketing. I am now a mother of two attempting to balance family with a full-time job, which is always an adventure. I love: my sweet babies, handsome husband, very large family, and fabulous friends; trying new restaurants; wine; TCU football; holidays; cooking; The Bar Method; pajamas; Topo Chico; reading; coffee; Central Market; carbs; the beach; mani/pedis; Anthropologie; binge-worthy TV shows and podcasts; trivia; French 75s; Pinterest; cheese boards; The Ticket; dancing; Sprinkles cupcakes; The Texas Rangers; fresh flowers; thunderstorms; naps; Tex-Mex; the Texas Hill Country; porch-sitting; ranch dressing; throwing parties; and my job. I hate: working-mom guilt; snakes; heights; waking up early; ignorant people; stomach bugs; paper cuts; green fruit; snoring; bad hair days; the sound of people eating (Misophonia); scary movies; bad drivers; pulpy OJ; trimming baby fingernails; and Miracle Whip. That pretty much sums it up.
